A World of Possibility?....... Or an Impossible World?

So IV been here a month today…Although really I have lived a whole life…. But in another world!

I decided I would look at statistics…

According to the World Health Organization (WHO) ….

· Globally every year at least 350 000 women die due to complications in pregnancy or childbirth. More than a quarter of these figures come from Africa

· 10,000 babies per day die within the first month an equal number of babies are born dead.

· In Africa alone neonatal mortality is 45 per 1000 live births.

So here are my statistics over the last month…..

· 149 births
· 2 dead pregnant mothers
· 28 dead neonates within the 1st week of life

Now I am no mathitician ….

But according to The WHO neonatal mortality works out to be around 1 in 28.

My statistics from here are more like 1 in 5.

I’m not sure how statistics are obtained and measured but I’m pretty sure they don’t have people carrying out direct observation over a period of time! Theses figures come from records right! Now how many records are kept? Well only for those who attend health services! And we know that only around 2% of the population here are able to access adequate health services!

It’s pretty hard to obtain accurate records even within the hospital, as many births go un-recorded and records of baby’s that are born alive but die before discharge are not amended! This comes from first hand observation! And what is going on out in the rural areas? Well know one knows for sure….. But we do know that the reason people do not attend health services is not because they don’t need to, it’s because they can’t!

So I maybe wrong… and I am only going by a month of work but I reckon it is a whole lot worse than we think!

For those of you who know me so well I’m sure you’re thinking the same as me…. Statistics?? Well I guess I just find it kind of therapeutic, a sort or escapism! I guess numbers somehow aren’t as painful as actually living it… Witnessing it!

I like the majority of the west, can’t really imagine the reality behind these numbers…. So I thought if maybe I just shared the odd story with you then maybe I could bring you closer….

I guess in a selfish way I also hope by sharing my burden it will somehow be lifted, give me strength to carry on fighting for whatever it is that I’m fighting for…. A human right I guess! Because sometimes it just seems so impossible!

Two days ago I delivered a beautiful baby girl into the world …. Today I watched her leave!

During my morning ward round I noticed she was struggling, her resps were up, she had a temperature and was not feeding! I took her to the labour ward and started her on oxygen and antibiotics; I put a NG tube in to feed her and monitored her closely. During the day her condition deteriorated and she was completely dependent on oxygen.

At 6pm we had a power cut…. She was helpless and I was helpless to help her! So after some time of watching her gasp for air, her eyes blinking in and out of consciousness, I made a decision that may haunt my dreams forever but somehow felt like the right thing to do.

I stopped…. I gave up…. I pulled out all her tubes, I wrapped her in a blanket and I took her to her mother. I held her mother whilst she held her baby, her tears fell so gracefully…. as she died in her arms.

So I have joined hundreds of other aid workers around the world fighting to save the lives of the most vulnerable…. In a world of possibility! But after days like today, that world just seems so impossible!

Its like we are here with our patients but the treatments aren’t! So this beautiful baby girl will join the estimated 24,000 people who die around the world of preventable or treatable neglected diseases! (WHO).

And so in some twisted circle of life way…… we are back to statistics…. She is now a number!

Maybe because she never had the chance to discover what it means to live, to know what it means to be happy, to be sad, and to be free; then maybe she is exempted from qualifying for the most basic human right??

But I disagree……..She knew what it meant to be loved…. And in my eyes, that qualified her with the right to life!