06/04/2010 Hope not only meets despair in equal measures….. It drowns it!’[James Maskalyk]

Gimbie looks different in the light! It’s beautiful, much greener than I imagined and a lot poorer than I have ever seen before. The people of Gimbie tell a story with their eyes. A story I hope to learn and I hope to be apart of.

I woke up feeling a little like I have been hit by a bus and smoked 100 cigarettes in my sleep… I hadn’t of course, so wondered why I felt like I had! So I sat for a while… then it made sense as I looked out over or above Ethiopia! We are 2000 meters above sea level here!!! I think it may take a little time for my body to adjust, well I hope a little time, as I don’t have a lot of time… I’ve got to hit the ground running, no time for slow adjustment!

It’s about 140 steps to the hospital, I will of course count them soon and tell you exactly… but I think I will go with 140 for now. I couldn’t believe it, walking up those steps felt like finishing a marathon. My lungs being vacuumed to the size of a small walnut, leaving me with no air to breath! I think I will train hard and set myself a goal… By the end of my trip I will jog the 140 steps to the hospital… okay actually maybe just walking them without flaking out and needing a rest every 6 steps; this feels like a good challenge!

I had a warm welcome to the maternity unit; people here are, as expected, as friendly as you could wish for! Big smiles, lots of hugs and a language that I of course have no understanding of!

The unit is busy, my first patient is having twins, the first baby arrives… Dead! I can’t believe it… not my first delivery here. Can I go though this again? How much pain can one feel before they become numb? I hope I never know the answer to that! But I’m here, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy and so I will take that deep breath and give all that I have to give and hope that in some way I can make a difference.
The next baby arrives…. Oh god, please breathe…. We spent a while inflating his small lungs with air and then came the sound all midwifes long to hear… a cry!

I think now comes the perfect opportunity to tell you my favorite quote by James Maskalyk. A quote that has become my mantra and will keep me strong, focused and here!

‘Hope not only meets despair in equal measures… It drowns it!’

So it starts...

Where to start? Well I’m here and safe… eventually after a long exhausting 15 hour journey of bumpy roads, broken vehicles, you name it, we had it! So yeh…. I’m a little dumb struck to be honest, I’m lying here under my mosquito net with my head torch on trying to imagine my next four months; my work; my colleagues; my friends; my home; my life!

I had an odd moment earlier… I got smacked in the face with what we call reality! It finally hit me…. I’m here, you're there and the rest of the world is somewhere in between!

It's pretty daunting, and I guess I found myself questioning the reasons for being here. Why does it matter to me so much? For most of us, we are too far away to feel its ripples, so perhaps it matters less? But if I can make it seem closer, maybe you can sense that it does! Decide for yourselves…. Decide for me!

Where my journey starts.........

"I'm not telling you to make the world better, because i don't think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I'm just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. to seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, i could tell you that the grave's a fine and private place, but none i think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that's what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it."

- Joan Didion